When it comes to love, I bet the first thing that comes to mind is either romantic love, or the love for a child, family member, friend or pet, but what about self love?
Yes, self love. The idea of self love for many is often something they’ve never really thought about; or it is something that makes them uncomfortable because they feel that focusing on self love is egotistical. However, I’m not talking about being boastful, cocky or egotistical at all. I’m simply referring to taking a moment each day to appreciate yourself for all that you do. Taking time to listen to what your body and your spirit are saying. Taking time to cultivate your inner strength. Self love in this case has everything to do with optimizing self care. The practice of making yourself a priority so you can live your best life and be your best self each day.
As wives, mothers, sisters, and friends, we find it easy to shower others with love and affection. However, when it comes to ourselves, we can often be critical and negative. Why is that? How can we change this behavior?
Having high expectations for ourselves is a good thing. It helps us to reach our goals. However, when we fail or fall short, instead of being harsh on ourselves, how can we give ourselves the grace and love we would show others? Self love may or may not come easily to you however, it is possible to develop with some care and mindfulness.
Lotus Flower (photo credit: Madeleine Kelly)
Before, we discuss how to cultivate self love, let’s talk about why it is important. First, you are the only YOU out there. Learning to appreciate and celebrate your uniqueness not only helps you be an individual, it helps you to be a more authentic and happy one. Second, learning to love and appreciate yourself for the efforts you put out each day results in two powerful things: freedom and happiness. Freedom from being dependent on those around you for the love and appreciation that is needed to recharge and energize your spirit. Freedom to find the strength and motivation inside you to achieve your goals, or sometimes to just persevere.
Happiness is something we all seek. Happy people have an uncanny ability to separate their feelings about themselves and their feelings about life from the events happening around them. The way they feel about their life and themselves is not dependent on external factors. Truly happy people maintain a strong sense of self and self appreciation even during the most difficult struggles.
Where does this freedom and happiness come from? It comes from within. Taking time each day to nurture your spirit helps that inner light shine. When your spirit is full it can manifest itself in many positive ways. If you truly honor, appreciate and love yourself you may be inclined to make better choices for yourself. You are less likely to settle for a bad partner, bad job or bad situation because you value yourself too much to do so.
Self love, can actually have positive ramifications in many areas of your life. Those who practice self love may intern be healthier. You are likely to take care of yourself better if you truly value yourself. Those who appreciate and love themselves may have less anxiety and stress, or they will just simply handle stress better than those who do not appreciate themselves. Those who have developed self love are able to tap into their inner strength and power. They intern can use that power to work thought the challenges that life throws at them.
So, how do you learn to appreciate and love yourself? Here are a few simple tips to fostering a healthy sense of self love and appreciation. If the concept of self love is new to you, it may take a while to develop a clear sense of it. However, through daily practice it will eventually become second nature. If you are already one who fully loves and appreciates yourself then these tips may help you to deepen that love and appreciation for yourself. Here goes:
Be quiet: Find a moment each day to be quiet and calm. Our lives are bombarded with flashing screens, sounds, busily rushing from one thing to the next. Taking time to disconnect, be quite and breathe deeply each day will help you get centered and in the right frame of mind to incorporate the following steps. I find the easiest time to just have a moment to breathe and be quiet is when I lay down to go to sleep. It is a time when the house is quite, the room is dark and I can just breathe and reflect for a while to close our my day.
Recognize your strengths: While you are sitting or lying down in a quite space during a quite moment, think briefly about what make you special, what you are good at, what makes you uniquely you. At first, this may feel strange or even uncomfortable, but over time, you will start to identify and value these qualities and characteristics about yourself.
Practice appreciation: During this quite moment that you have carved out of your day just for you, take a moment to think about all that you have accomplished in that day. All the work you finished, all the good choices you made. Try to appreciate three things about yourself each day. Some days this exercise may be challenging, because you may feel you’ve accomplished nothing. We all have those days. In that case, appreciate your body for all the amazing things it did for you that day. It is always a good idea to thank your body each day. We tend to take our bodies for granted. Focusing a few minutes each day on appreciating your body and your self will lead to more developed sense of self and inner strength.
Have patience: Be patient with yourself. Throughout your day, be mindful of the messages you are sending yourself. Are they harsh or are they kind? If they are harsh, try to catch those thoughts and turn them into ones that are more positive or kind. Say to yourself, “You’ll do better next time.” “You are trying your best.” Think about what you would say to a friend or a child in that same situation. Try to encourage yourself throughout the day rather that criticize.
After a few days or weeks of carving out a quite moment, you may be surprised how transformative it can be. You should start to feel more in control of your life, more calm, more free from the noise that can drown out your inner voice. You may recognize your inner strength or inner peace developing. Others may notice it too. If you take the time to make yourself a priority, and learn to develop a healthy sense of self love you may feel as Whitney Houston described in her iconic song, “The Greatest Love of All” and feel as thought you found the greatest love all all inside of you. No matter what, taking time to appreciate and honor yourself each day, will help you tap into your inner light so it can shine brighter.